Sexy time when you have a kid...

So anyone with kids will know what i am talking about when I say this. After you have a kid, especially the first one, the dynamics of you and your partners "intimate moments" get shifted... a bit. So long are the long nights of heavy breathing and noise making and replaced with a more subtle, peaceful and silent events. I of course have noticed the change and it makes me laugh when I think about it to myself. Some couples enjoy talking dirty to each other to really spice up the moment at hand but when you have a kid... you still say the same raunchy statements but you tone it down to a whisper. So you whisper dirty things to each other. Ha! Hilarious! You do this so you don't wake up the baby. Even though the baby sleeps in a completely different room.

Also, the frequency of times that you interact with each other on an adult basis changes too. I feel like Luke Skywalker using the force to destroy the Death Star when it comes to finding the right moment to "entice" my wife. It has to be the right time, if you miss that moment then it has passed and she has passed out... and so have I. Taking care of a kid is exhausting so this is no surprise. You need to be sharp and always be on the lookout for the cues. Whether it's an awkward smile or a keyword such as "snuggle", you always keep an eye or ear open for the moment. Going back to the noise aspect of it, you try to make sure that whatever noises being made, whether the bed or otherwise is hushed down so that you and only you can hear whats happening. I find this very funny especially since our baby has multiple white noise machines going due to the fact that we live on the first floor and the unit upstairs has creaky floors.

Something that you may notice involves the baby monitor. Every once in a while you will notice yourself peeking at the baby monitor to make sure that your actions are not affecting the sleep of the baby. It's especially funny when you see your partner glaring at it so naturally you stop everything to take a peek yourself, once everything is good, the game continues. Another thing happens quite often is when tossing and turning you may roll yourself upon a pointy, plastic and very obscurely shaped toy that was either thrown into your bed or just forgotten about until you have rolled on top of it. This puts all activity at a sudden stop. You throw the damn toy across the room.. err, actually you place the damn toy on the floor next to the bed and it's back to the starting line.

These are just some of the things that we new parents can all come to share with one another. I am sure that after 2 or 3 kids this all gets smoothed out but with one, we are still tiptoeing along. If you are reading this and you don't have a kid, just you wait.

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