Lunch Break Notes

   It has been quite a while since I last wrote anything. Life has been crazy and time has been.. well, there's just not enough of it. Since my last note a lot has happened. For starters, I now live in Toms River, a place I never fathomed living. I've been a Monmouth county resident my whole life and anything else seemed... not right. But oh how right it is! Living in Toms River is really something else. We have been greeted by almost every neighbor within 2 weeks of living here. Our next door neighbor gave us a pie on our anniversary, Mealz actually has a nickname for her, RoRo. People approach us to just talk. It is an incredible change of pace from where we were.  Now one thing I never imagined about Toms River is their love and devotion for my favorite holiday. Not Christmas, we lived in that town and it was a bit creepy, yeah I'm looking at you Ocean Grove. This town loves Halloween so much that they actually celebrate the Trick or Treat part of it a day early s...

Getting your kid to try new foods at a young age can be quite difficult. It must be scary for them judging by how our daughter reacts when we try to offer something as simple as mashed potatoes or even jello. My wife discovered an incredible tactic that has yet to fail. Now, all kids are different so chances are it will not work for everyone but for us, it was a, as the Doctor says, Bingo! When offering a new food that she is weary of we simply bring the whole pot out, or in some cases, like ours the other night, the whole bird. We found that she is more open to trying new things when she is able to see right where it is coming from. Most of the time it will be out of a pot or a box. If we were to just try and give her a piece of meat she would push it away. We discovered this when we brought vegetables out onto the table one night and rather than enjoy the same vegetable in front of her, she wanted the same ones that were in the pot. What can I say? Our kids weird. ...

I understand that there are two sides to the argument of curly hair being the better ... hair. People who have it hate it and those without it, want it. Its really a great embodiment of the phrase " be careful what you wish for". I wished for our daughter to have beautiful curly hair and she got it and I ha... ehh, for lack of a better  word, struggle  with it. Don't get me wrong,  Mealz and her golden locks are adorable. And I love everything about her, but man... that hair collects food and boogers like none other. Every other night during bath time I brush all the items out of those twisty little traps. It cracks me up to know that I actually have a routine to the whole thing. For any other fathers out there that are in the same boat pay some attention to this part. I pour water on her head and look for the frizzy parts. I brush, very lightly, the frizzy parts until they become smooth. That's how I know the knot and food is out. Once her whole head is smooth I k...

Have you seen Riverdale? ( Pause for effect at the end of that question.) If the person you are asking looks around cautiously before saying yes then you know they have seen what you have seen. They probably think what you think or maybe they don't and when you asked them the question they just said " yup" without hesitation. Maybe they were having sex all over the place in high school and drinking wine with dinner even though they are still kids. Maybe the person you are asking bought Starbucks on their way into school and then sat for long amounts of time in what seems like a student lounge while bickering over either sexual or murderous daily topics. If it was me you were asking, I'm shocked for a little bit of all of the above.  I can't believe that this show is geared towards the young demographic that it is with the sensationalized points it puts in front during each episode. There's way too much sex for one thing... wait... maybe they are right for...

I recently wrote how we have lived with rude neighbors throughout the years but nothing like what we experienced just a couple days ago. For those that have kids you know what teething can be like and the menacing behavior that accompanies it. Our daughter has six teeth coming in all at once so needless to say, it's been rough. More than anything we wish we could trade places with her. This must be something that our upstairs neighbors have forgotten. Note, they have a grown son so they have been where we are. It was a fine morning until we heard , what sounded like, a flipped table come from upstairs. The husband upstairs began screaming at his wife and telling... actually... ordering her to go downstairs and tell us to shut our f**king baby up. He continued to go on about it sounds like we are rolling bowling balls across the floor. Weird to think this is possible especially since we live on the first floor. This went on for quite some time even going as far as screaming at his ...

The perfect ending to a long, stress filled week would be to come home and take my shoes off. Grab a glass of wine, after greeting my lovely wife a kid of course, and sitting on the ground playing some games. This would be best paired with Chinese food once the baby is down to sleep. Most Friday's look like this but not this Friday.  This Friday we were held hostage by Mealz and a serious bout of constipation. Normally we can deal rather quickly with this but on this occasion it was different. As Lex went to grab our Pho for the evening, I proceeded with bath time which normally gets thing all loose and... flowing? After a 40 minute struggle in the bath it was time to move on. So after the dreadful enema she still wasn't the pooh flow. As gross as it may be, that's all we wanted, especially since our Pho was now getting cold and it going to past an hour of her bedtime.   Finally after a couple hours of pushing the baby came out at a smaller than expec...

So anyone with kids will know what i am talking about when I say this. After you have a kid, especially the first one, the dynamics of you and your partners "intimate moments" get shifted... a bit. So long are the long nights of heavy breathing and noise making and replaced with a more subtle, peaceful and silent events. I of course have noticed the change and it makes me laugh when I think about it to myself. Some couples enjoy talking dirty to each other to really spice up the moment at hand but when you have a kid... you still say the same raunchy statements but you tone it down to a whisper. So you whisper dirty things to each other. Ha! Hilarious! You do this so you don't wake up the baby. Even though the baby sleeps in a completely different room. Also, the frequency of times that you interact with each other on an adult basis changes too. I feel like Luke Skywalker using the force to destroy the Death Star when it comes to finding the right moment to "ent...

So things have been really tough lately with the little one. Day in and day out my wife has been having no luck with nap times, meals or anything else regarding the pint sized diaper demon. Everything has been fine up until a week ago. She screams, she has fits and she is so strong willed so there's no stopping her. Bedtime used to be our victory lap. Just lay her down and the night is ours. Now we put her down, she throws a fit and we monitor... on the monitor. Eventually she gives way and falls asleep but not without a fight. We hear the usual possibilities of teething or a fever but we just think that the devil has taken hold of our sweet angel. We are not the holy rolly types but my wife is convinced that be the case. Hell, she even prayed to God tonight. Not for thanks to the fine Chinese people that provided the evenings meal but rather to God in hopes that our child would sleep through the night. On a more serious note though, I would like for my daughter to dance in the t...

One of my few last entries held the content that informed the readers that my sweet little daughter pooped whilst bathing. Since that time it has happened again and as the the titles informs you, again. The second time was not so bad because I found myself ready to deal but there was no amount of readiness for the third. The reason being... not to gross you out, the consistency. I was unable to grasp and dump what could not be grasped...and dumped. It was gross. It was so gross that I needed to alert my wife that IT happened again. It was a good thing all the washing was done. The worst part of this unpleasant ordeal is not the substance itself, rather it is the action of trying to play with the substance once it is in view. I am sure that this will not be the last time this happens. Swimming pools will never be the same.

Just the other night as i was going through the nightly routine of giving the little one a bath. She did something that really surprised me. She stood up, which is usually the sign for get out of my way, I'm going to pee, but this time... there was no pee! Instead there was one...two...THREE!! Three "poops" dropped into the tub. I never panicked like this before. Within seconds she was out of the bath basket and into the actual tub. I lifted the basket in an attempt to contain the poop but of course the basket has holes. I did my best to dump the water and turds i to the toilet but lost a couple back into the tub. Spilling water EVERYWHERE, I dropped the basket and did what any brave father would do when his daughter is threatened by a floating mass of yuck bound towards her. I reached into the water... grabbed the poopie... and threw...yes I THREW the nugget into the toilet. Immediately after I waved my hand in the air as if it were on fire and the flames would not g...

A whole year has flown by since we brought home our little peanut, pickle-puss, kid, baby or more commonly known as... Mealz. The best way to explain this past year is that you never realize how quick time flies when you have no time to think about it. With all of the diapers, sleepless nights, which I seem to be able to function with, the bottles, the baths, the messy meals and sleepless nights... did I already say that? Now that she is a whole year older, things have changed. Our little peanut has turned into a bruiser! She used to pound around on her knees and not she up! Getting herself into all sorts of trouble. I said this in an earlier post that it was cute in the beginning but now it's just scary seeing how she can pull things down and get on top of pretty much whatever she wants. We went from sleepless nights to all out worry and panic all day until she goes to bed. Seeing a human grow from a fragile being to a walking talking almost member of ...

   There's no better time of the yea  then when all the leaves start to change. The mornings get brisk and the days get darker. I am the type of person that likes cool air and dark skies. It may sound like I'm a morbid person but in fact, I just love everything that comes along with the weather. Everyone seems to loves the summer. The beach, the BBQs, the bathing suits. I'm not a fan. I don't like the heat, the crowds (I live on the Jersey Shore) and me and the sun do not get along at all. I burn... bad. My Hispanic heritage does not assist me when I need it most. There are just too many things that are better done in the fall when it's gloomy than in the summer when it's hot and humid. For instance, can you curl up with a good book with the windows open while you snuggle up under a blanket? Possibly add a fire in the mix? No, you can not. It's just too damn hot. Plus, I usually like to drink a glass of warm tea with my books which is ...